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Television Without Pity - All Blogs

• Bad Amanda
  
• Go Your Own Way
  

  Previously:Maria and Ellen bonded over a little light sexual harassment of their bartender. Ellen turned up missing and Dexter found out that Miguel had killed her. Maria was devastated and Miguel told her he'd comfort her. Syl thinks that Miguel is having an affair. The Skinner kidnapped Anton and we found out that George King was the culprit. Deb saved him before he was completely skinned, but the problems are only beginning. She thinks that Anton could sue the department for not putting him on the books as a CI. Barbara and Angel are getting closer. Dexter checked the blood on the shirt that Miguel gave him -- it's cow blood, not Freebo blood.

  Rita and Dexter are out at a nice restaurant with the Prados. Miguel is excitedly telling a story about how it took Dexter 7 or 8 golf balls to make a shot of some lake while they were golfing. Dexter replies that putting the 18th hole before a body of water is "criminal." No, what's criminal is subjecting poor Syl and Rita to this conversation. Who fucking cares if he's having an affair? Syl should divorce him for this. Miguel claims that he kept begging Dexter to "take the Mulligan! But, not this guy!" Seriously, I'd kill myself.

  Their dinner arrives via four waiters (fancy place!) and Dexter VO's, "Just what I ordered. Feigned civility with a heaping side of betrayal." That's a holiday classic in my home. He continues, saying that it has become increasingly clear that he's going to have to "deal" with Miguel. Syl interrupts his VO to thank the chef. Miguel stands and greets him as well. Those Prados are such hot shots. Dexter figures that his options for dealing with Miguel are as follows: Option Number 1 -- He could kill him. This, of course, would spark a huge manhunt and everyone in Miguel's life would be scrutinized, including Dexter. Also, since Miguel is Dexter's best man, Dex would be required to grieve. That would be the most difficult part for our Dex, I'm guessing. Option Number 2 -- He could get Miguel out of his life, which is not very simple. Dex VO's "He taught me how to golf. I taught him how to kill." He's responsible for Miguel now.

  Suddenly Syl tells Miguel to tell Rita and Dexter some sort of surprise -- she can't wait. Miguel tells them that he has a wedding gift for them. Chef Babia (of the restaurant they are currently dining in) and his staff are going to cater their wedding. Hmm, that's funny. As I recall, Rita went on and on about the caterers like she was going to have to write their damn recipes for them. What did Dexter want to eat, no you can't just have steak, blah, blah, blah. And, she hasn't made a deposit on another caterer already? Because Syl would know if she had. It's just another excuse for them to mention this fucking albatross of a wedding that his been dragging this whole season down. No more wedding. Just get married. Done. DONE. Rita is thrilled. Dexter tries to say that it's too much, but Miguel says that he won't take no for an answer. Dexter VO's that Miguel is making it clear that Option 2 is not actually an option. Miguel won't let their partnership dissolve. He's trying to keep Dexter under his thumb and he's using Rita to help him now. Dexter acknowledges that it's working.

  Miguel proposes a toast, "To Dexter and Rita. May your marriage be as blessed as we are to have you to call friends." This makes Dexter think of an Option 3 -- get Miguel under his thumb, and keep him there.

  In the car, on the way to pick up the kids after dinner, Rita and Dexter are held up by roadwork. Rita says that the meal was great and that it was great to see Syl and Miguel getting along so well. Dexter asks if it's absolutely necessary to have food at the wedding. Rita looks at him like he's a serial killer and says, "Yes, we have to serve food at the wedding." He says that he just wonders if, since they can't afford this Chef Babia on their own, maybe they shouldn't use him. Rita says that it would be insulting to say no at this point, but Dex says that Miguel's ego can handle it. Wow, lucky for the writers that Dexter, as a character, just spills his feelings all of the time. Otherwise, how would we arrive at this point where Dexter doesn't really say anything except that Miguel isn't who he thought he was and Rita ends up at -- he's cheating on Syl with Maria. Maybe he knows she'll do this and he's letting her go. It's just that I can't think of an immediate reason why it would be helpful to Dexter. She asks if it's his secretary and he says that it isn't, and then she says that Miguel working with Maria has bothered Syl. It must be her. Dexter won't confirm or deny her suspicions, which essentially solidifies them.

  They arrive at Deb's house -- she's babysitting. This is only like the third or fourth time I can remember Deb and Rita being together. Rita says that Dexter's best friend is cheating on her best friend and he won't tell her who the mistress is. Deb's response? "You have a best friend?" That's perfect. Dex finds Astor sleeping on the sofa and asks, "What did you use on her, chloroform?" Rita says she hopes that Astor was good and Deb says that she was a champ, "She almost made it through Saw 1 and 2." Rita, of course, looks at Deb with horror. Hell, my own mom would look at someone with horror if they showed those movies to me. They're fucking horrible and scary. I prefer orderly, sterile serial murderers. Deb says that she was only kidding and that she and Astor bonded just as Anton walks into the room. He seems to have recovered from his partial skinning rather well. Rita seems a little surprised that Deb had company. Deb introduces him and Dexter recognizes him as "The Skinner victim." Deb replies that it's "just Anton." Anton shakes Dexter's hand and says that Deb saved his life. Dexter asks if this means Anton will be her plus-1 for the wedding and Deb gives him a "shut up" look. She stumbles over saying that she hasn't really told him about the wedding and Anton offers kudos to Rita and Dex. Rita informs Anton that there is also a baby on the way -- she wants to walk down the aisle without a huge baby bump. Don't we all, Rita. Anton follows her to continue the conversation as Dexter and Deb have a "What?"/"Asshole" exchange. It's very funny.

  The next morning, Anton and Deb are asleep on her couch as the title screen from a DVD of Penguin Town is playing its constant loop of silly penguin music. That must have been what the kids were watching the night before. Hmm, both the kids and Dexter have an interest in penguins. Deb slowly wakes and realizes where she is. "Cocksuck! Motherfuck!" Nice. She wakes Anton and tells him that he has to go. She's not late for work though, he points out. No, but his protective detail is going to know that he spent all night with her -- implying all sorts of things that they have actually done. If her bosses find out, she's going to be in "a shitload of shit." He's the key witness in a case she's investigating; fraternizing would not be kosher. If that news came out in trial, George King's lawyers (provided they catch him) will have a field day. He asks if that's really what her reaction is about (maybe he thinks she's embarrassed to be dating a CI/kind of CI?) and she says, without kissing him goodbye, that she has to get in the shower and will call him later.

  At the station, Dexter is at work and VO'ing. He says that he's revisiting Option 3 -- getting Miguel under his thumb. Exposing Ellen's body was supposed to gain him leverage, but Miguel wrestled that away. Maria is leading a conference with the cops. She says that a suspect in Ellen's murder has been taken into custody. Dex wonders if Maria is onto Miguel. Doesn't look like it -- the suspect is Toby Edwards, the bartender that served Maria and Ellen the night that Miguel killed Ellen. Incoming phone records indicated Edwards called Ellen's phone three times that night -- once from the bar, twice from outside of her house. Poor Ellen, she got killed before she even got to enjoy one last booty call. That's cruel. Dexter realizes that Maria hasn't found the killer, but she may have found a witness. LEVERAGE ATTAINED. Angel tells Soderquist to bring in Edwards. Maria says they also will be searching Edwards' belongings for a platinum wedding ring. Vince corrects her -- he has already catalogued a wedding ring. And now Maria corrects him, because the ring she was talking about was from her other marriage. Vince wonders why the killer would only take one ring and Quinn offers that maybe he was interrupted. Dexter has a better idea -- maybe he wanted a trophy. With a potential witness and a missing ring, Dexter VO's that now he and Miguel have something to talk about. Thank God it isn't golf.

  After Dexter leaves the room, Vince stops the others from leaving. He says that he's taking donations for Dexter's bachelor party "produced and directed by Vince Masuka." He announces that he will have present at the party "Sergeant Cop-a-feel" as well as "Jo-Jo the Lezbo Go-Go" and "Maureen the Limber Mermaid and, her even more limber friend, Nadia the Russian Gymnast." Angel grabs him by the scruff of the neck and pulls him to the side. He begins by telling him that they are in the middle of two important